Dear parents
Next week is the 15th week of the school year. These first weeks and months of any school year are often among the busiest and most pressured for young people. Once the adrenalin rush of the start of a new year is over, pupils settle to their routines. For anyone who has spent time in a school will know, the day is filled with lessons, extra-curricular commitments, snatched social time with friends and finding the time to catch up with work or other obligations.
The school day is a long one, therefore, and it is inevitable that by the end of it, children are mentally tired. This is particularly true if they have spent the time speaking a second, or even third, language. As the term grinds on, this tiredness may lead some young people to become short-tempered and, as a consequence of the combination of fatigue and tetchiness, friendships can become strained. This is a regular, if regrettable, part of a school, and we have been dealing with one or two recent examples of such incidents. Whilst any breakdown in relationships, however temporary, is regrettable and painful, they are still part of the learning process for children. Teachers, for example, use such incidents to reinforce our core values, particularly those of kindness and respect. They are also good moments to help a child understand more about themselves and their emotions so that over time they know better how to recognise the symptoms of strain or the sort of irritability that can trigger a clash with a friend or classmate. In addressing such actions openly, and encouraging dialogue between those involved, relationships can ultimately be strengthened, and the prospect of further clashes diminished.
I do not think I am maligning a whole generation of young people when I say that behaviours characterised by short tempers, periods of sullen withdrawal and markedly argumentative attitudes are usually the preserve of teenagers. The teenage years can indeed be difficult for children and families. Adolescents undergo marked neurological and hormonal changes during these years, an experience which can be both bewildering and frightening to the young person experiencing them. Such is the overwhelming nature of the evidence for these physical and psychological changes that entire medical careers have been devoted to researching, treating and writing about teenage disorders. As adults, we need not only to be aware of the forces acting on our children but also to make allowance for them. This takes understanding and patience –at times, what can feel like unimaginable amounts of patience. What young people need at this stage of their lives is a parent or teacher who is prepared to listen and not judge them too much.
Tetchiness is not just a teenage phenomenon, though. Pupils of all ages can show flashes of irritation or a loss of composure, and younger pupils often lack the skills to cope with such outbursts of emotion. As a consequence, they do or say things which hurt others, frequently those with whom, in normal circumstances, they enjoy the friendliest of relations. Just as with teenagers, adults dealing with such incidents need to be calm, listen to the accounts of those involved and help them to resolve the tension within them and with their peers.
There are some straightforward ways to get children to talk more openly about such issues:

• Your mindset needs to be right; go into any such conversation as a listener, not an interrogator or judge.

• Give them the time, in a quiet and private place, to talk.

• Ask open questions (for example, ‘what happened?’ or ‘what were you feeling?’) and avoid asking leading questions. Let them tell their story in their words.

• Avoid acting before you have all the details. It may be tempting to try and solve issues quickly, but patience is essential in building a better image of these often-complicated situations.

• Encourage the child to seek a resolution, for example, by talking to the other child involved in the dispute. Facing up to such conversations may seem awkward at first, but it prevents solutions which seek to avoid the issue. The latter can be damaging in that it encourages children to see avoidance as the best way to deflect from their responsibilities; that is not a life skill to be admired.

People have confrontations of all kinds in their lives. Adults tend to be able to manage conflict better than children, not surprisingly, but even so, there are times when things go wrong. Children are in school to learn and working with them to understand their emotions and actions is a vital part of any teacher’s day. The mistakes children make are all part of their schooling, and as long as they learn from the mistakes and understand the power of leading a life driven by shared values, they can emerge stronger from even the most challenging situations. As we move towards the end of a long, draining term of hard work and considerable progress, teachers and pupils will be working hard to ensure that relationships remain positive and healthy across the school. The collaboration demanded by the forthcoming series of Christmas shows and the bazaar will help cement the ties between us ever more firmly.
Best wishes
Julian Jeffrey
MASTER

In-School Meeting
1400hrs-1500hrs, Thursday
3rd December

This week’s Meet the Master slot is open to parents of pupils in the Nest. If you would like to attend, please confirm via email with Ms Emma Shi (emma.shi@wellingtoncollege.cn) by Wednesday 2nd December.

Online Meeting
0900hrs-1015hrs, Wednesday
2nd December

Parent briefings are held on Wednesday mornings usually from 0900hrs -1015hrs. Parents will have the chance to engage with the school in sessions that cover all aspects of your child’s education, from the Early Years to A levels and university admissions.
In this presentation, Mr Toby Roundell, the Pastoral and Safeguarding Lead, explores what life-long skills are; why they important; and how Wellington promotes and nurtures them in the curriculum, classroom and extra curriculum. Finally, he reflects on the development of life skills as a parent and links this to the school’s vision.

Senior school parent briefing: university applications and Bridge-U
Online Meeting
1730hrs, Thursday
3rd December

There will be a parent briefing on university applications and Bridge-U aimed at parents of pupils in all year groups on Thursday 3rd December at 1730hrs. Please join us on Microsoft Teams using your son/daughter’s account. The briefing will be delivered in English and Chinese, and if you have any questions that you would like to send in advance of the meeting (in either English or Chinese), please send them to luyi.feng@wellingtoncollege.cn. We would love to see as many of you as possible there.

Online University Fair

Due to travel restrictions this year, our University Fair will take on a different format. We are pleased to be offering a series of online presentations (three per week) from universities from all over the world. Over 200 universities from all over the world will be in attendance so this is a fantastic opportunity for our pupils to gain information first-hand.

Next week we will have three presentations, not from universities but about helping our pupils with their university applications. The presentations will take place in the Sixth Form Seminar room and pupils from years 10-13 are all welcome to attend. They will all start at 1320hrs, and early lunch is available. Pupils will need to contact a member of the university team if they wish to attend.

• Tuesday 1st December 1320hrs – How to go about writing a personal statement for the UK

• Wednesday 2nd December 1320hrs – How to write an essay for US universities

• Thursday 3rd December 1320hrs – Putting together a good portfolio

Lunchtime Concert
Black Box
1325hrs-1355hrs, Friday
4th December

Following the success of the first lunchtime concert this year, the Music Department will host another concert to showcase the musical talents both in the Senior School and the Junior School on Friday 4th December in the Black Box. The recital will kick off at 1325hrs and feature a variety of instruments, including the Spanish guitar, acoustic guitar, piano and trumpet.

Readers of the week

The English department is delighted to announce that this week's reader of the week is:
Patrick in year 7, who was nominated by Ms Shen for translating Conan Doyle’s ‘The Speckled Band’ to his mother and recording the reading together.

A huge congratulations to Patrick — what an impressive achievement!